The Four Agreements Will Change Your Life

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I'm a Certified Health Coach, longtime blogger, and host of Elizabeth Eats on YouTube. In addition to writing recipes (I love to eat!), I'm a strong believer that life is too short to settle for anything less than living your best life.


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The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a powerful book about personal freedom.

It’s one of my favorite books of all time. It’s a short, powerful book that I re-read at least once per year.

The book provides practical guidance for living a happy and fulfilled life based on four agreements that the author believes are essential for achieving personal freedom. These agreements are rooted in ancient Toltec wisdom, and they offer a blueprint for transforming our lives and relationships.

Don Miguel Ruiz was born and raised in Mexico and is a descendant of a family of healers and teachers who practiced the ancient Toltec wisdom. The Toltec civilization was a pre-Columbian civilization in Mexico that was known for its knowledge of science, art, spirituality, and healing. According to Ruiz, the Four Agreements are based on the wisdom of the Toltec culture and were passed down from his ancestors.

The Four Agreements Are:

  1. Be impeccable with your word: Speak with integrity and only say what you mean. Your words have the power to create, so use them wisely.
  2. Don’t take anything personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
  3. Don’t make assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
  4. Always do your best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Ruiz has also stated that he was inspired to write The Four Agreements after a near-fatal car accident that left him with a new perspective on life. He began to reflect on the teachings of his ancestors and the principles of Toltec wisdom, and he wrote The Four Agreements as a practical guide for transforming one’s life and relationships. The book has since become a bestseller and has helped millions of people around the world to achieve personal freedom and happiness.

List of The Four Agreements

I highly recommend reading or listening to the book for the nuances and details that Ruiz offers. Here is a short summary of each agreement:

Agreement 1: Be Impeccable with Your Word

The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. This means speaking with integrity and being true to your word.

Ruiz emphasizes that the words we use have immense power, and they can either create or destroy. Therefore, we must use our words wisely and with care. By being impeccable with our word, both to ourselves and to others, we can build trust, strengthen relationships, and create a world of love and harmony.

Agreement 2: Don’t Take Anything Personally

The second agreement is not to take anything personally.

This means not allowing the opinions and actions of others to affect our self-worth or happiness.

The author argues that people’s behavior is a reflection of their own beliefs and experiences, and we should not take it personally. By letting go of our need to control or please others, we can free ourselves from the burden of other people’s opinions and live authentically.

Agreement 3: Don’t Make Assumptions

The third agreement is not to make assumptions. This means not jumping to conclusions or assuming that we know what others are thinking or feeling.

The author suggests that assumptions often lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and unnecessary suffering. Therefore, we should always seek clarity and ask questions to avoid misunderstandings and maintain healthy relationships.

Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best

The fourth agreement is to always do our best. This means putting our best effort into everything we do, regardless of the outcome.

The author emphasizes that our best may vary from day to day, and we should not judge ourselves harshly or compare ourselves to others. By doing our best, we can live with a sense of accomplishment, and we can achieve our goals without fear of failure.

The Story of the Wounded Tree

One of the powerful stories from The Four Agreements is the story of the wounded tree. The story goes like this:

There was a man who took his son on a walk through the forest. As they walked, they came across a tree that had been struck by lightning. The father pointed to the tree and said to his son, “Do you see that tree? It is called a wounded tree. When it was struck by lightning, the tree became wounded and started to die. But instead of letting the tree die, the rest of the forest came together to help it. The other trees sent their nutrients to the wounded tree, and their roots became entwined with the roots of the wounded tree. The wounded tree started to heal, and soon it was as healthy and strong as the other trees.”

The Four Agreements

The story of the wounded tree ties into The Four Agreements in several ways.

Firstly, the story emphasizes the importance of being impeccable with our word. The other trees in the forest communicated with each other and sent their nutrients to the wounded tree to help it heal. By being honest and clear in our communication with others, we can build trust and support in our relationships.

Secondly, the story illustrates the agreement of not taking anything personally. The wounded tree did not become sick because of anything it did wrong, but rather because of a random act of nature. Similarly, when we encounter challenges in life or negative comments from others, we can choose not to take it personally and avoid unnecessary suffering.

Thirdly, the story shows the agreement of not making assumptions. The other trees did not assume that the wounded tree was beyond help and therefore did not hesitate to offer their support. By asking questions and seeking clarity, we can avoid misunderstandings and build stronger relationships.

Finally, the story exemplifies the agreement of always doing our best. The other trees in the forest did not hesitate to offer their support to the wounded tree, even though it required extra effort and resources. By doing our best to support others, even when it is not easy, we can create a world of love and harmony.

The story of the wounded tree reinforces the importance of The Four Agreements and shows how they can be applied to our daily lives and relationships.

Overall, the book’s teachings are simple yet profound, and they offer a practical guide for living a happy and fulfilled life. The author provides real-life examples and practical exercises to help readers implement the agreements in their daily lives. The book also emphasizes the importance of self-love, forgiveness, and gratitude, which are essential for achieving personal freedom and happiness.

The bottom line: The Four Agreements is an insightful and practical guide for living a happy and fulfilled life. The book’s teachings are rooted in ancient wisdom and offer a powerful blueprint for transforming our lives and relationships. The agreements are simple yet profound, and they offer a practical way to achieve personal freedom and happiness. The book is highly recommended for anyone seeking to improve their life and relationships.

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Hi, I'm Elizabeth

I'm a strong believer that life is too short to settle for anything less than living your best life. 

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